November 30, 2009

Best argument against democracy

Winston Churchill once said that the best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter.

This goes a long way in proving Mr. Churchill right:

The grotesquely wrong answers that some contestants give on quiz programmes would surely make most participants think twice before applying.

Here are a selection of the funniest answers taken from a new book...


THE ARTS

PRESENTER: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?

CALLER: Leonardo di Caprio.


BIOLOGY

    PRESENTER: Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?

    CONTESTANT: No, it was a dinosaur.

    (Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)


    ANNE ROBINSON: What type of bear lives in the Arctic?

    CONTESTANT (after much thought): Penguin.

    (The Weakest Link)


    CLASSICS

    ANNE ROBINSON: What was the principal language used by the ancient Romans?

    CONTESTANT: Greek.

    (The Weakest Link)


    DOMESTIC SCIENCE

    PRESENTER: Emmental and Double Gloucester are both types of what?

    CALLER: Banks.

    (Breakfast Toaster Quiz, Heart FM)


    ENGLISH LITERATURE

    JEREMY PAXMAN: Of all Beatrix Potter's books, which is the only one to feature a human in the title?


    ANTONY BEEVOR (author and historian): Peter Rabbit (Celebrity edition of University Challenge)

    (BBC Radio 2)


    ANNE ROBINSON: What 'B' was a pseudonym used by Charles Dickens?

    CONTESTANT: Bart Simpson.


    FILM STUDIES

    STEVE WRIGHT: Johnny Weismuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

    CALLER: Jesus.


    SPORT

    ANNE ROBINSON: The point on a golf club or a tennis racket that gives the best contact is alliteratively known as the what spot?

    CONTESTANT: The g-spot.


    ANNE ROBINSON: In 1975 the first black tennis player to win the Wimbledon Men's Singles title was Arthur who?

    CONTESTANT: Askey.


    ANNE ROBINSON: Who won the U.S. Open Tennis Championship wearing a black dress modelled on Audrey Hepburn's in Breakfast at Tiffany's?

    CONTESTANT: Roger Federer.

    (All the Weakest Link)


    MUSIC

    PRESENTER: Name the festival started in 1895 by Sir Henry Wood.

    CALLER: Glastonbury.


    PRESENTER: What
    name does Cat Stevens go under now? I'll give you a clue, he became a Muslim... (LBC 97.3FM)

    CALLER: Abu Hamza?

    (TalkSPORT)


    GEOGRAPHY

    DARREN DAY: What area of Germany is the cake named after, made with chocolate, cream, kirsch and cherries?

    CONTESTANT: Belgium.

    (Spin Star, ITV1)


    PRESENTER: What is the capital of Cuba?

    CALLER: Ermmm...

    PRESENTER: Take your time.

    CALLER: Ermmm...

    PRESENTER: Go on, have a guess.

    CALLER: Is it Belgium?

    PRESENTER: Er, not quite.

    (Sun FM, Sunderland)


    DALE WINTON: Alderney and Sark - are they part of the Channel Islands?

    CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Is that the English Channel? I don't know, are there islands in the English Channel? I've never heard of any. France- that's near the English Channel isn't it?

    (In It To Win It, BBC1)


    ANNE ROBINSON: Pakistan was part of which other state until it achieved independence in 1947?

    CONTESTANT: Bulgaria.

    (The Weakest Link)


    DAVE LEE TRAVIS: In which European country are there people called Walloons?

    CALLER: Wales


    QUIZMASTER: Where is the Sea of Tranquility?

    CONTESTANT: Ibiza. (RI:SE, Channel 4)


    MATHS

    ANNE ROBINSON: What kind of dozen is 13?

    CONTESTANT: Half a dozen.

    (The Weakest Link)


    MEDICINE

    STEVE WRIGHT: On what part of the body is a lobotomy performed?

    CONTESTANT: The bottom.

    (BBC Radio 2)


    HISTORY

    PRESENTER: What was the date of the Battle of Hastings?

    CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Er.... was it 1974?

    (Galaxy Radio, Leeds)


    ANNE ROBINSON: Which English queen rode a chariot with knives on the wheels?

    CONTESTANT (full of confidence): Victoria!

    (The Weakest Link)


    PRESENTER: Which ancient army was discovered in in 1974?

    CONTESTANT: The Territorial Army.

    (Metro Radio)

    CONTESTANT: Heil. (BBC Radio Merseyside)PRESENTER: What was Hitler's first name?

    (Breeze FM)


    ANNE ROBINSON: What 'T' did British POWs use to escape from Second World War German prison camps?

    CONTESTANT: I don't know. Was it herbal?

    (The Weakest Link)


    POLITICS

    PRESENTER: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair

    CALLER: George Bush

    (Viking FM)


    PRESENTER: Name Prince Charles's younger sister.

    CALLER: Is it Camelia?

    (The Ugly Phil Breakfast Show, Kerrang! Radio)


    RELIGIOUS STUDIES

    PRESENTER: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

    CALLER: Jewish.

    PRESENTER: That's close enough.

    (BRMB)


    ANNE ROBINSON: In Roman Catholicism, baptism, confirmation and matrimony are three of the seven what?

    CONTESTANT: Deadly sins.

    (The Weakest Link)


    SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

    ANNE ROBINSON: What man made structure built during the 3rd century BC is often said to be visible from space?

    CONTESTANT: The Millennium Dome.

    (The Weakest Link)


    Presenter: Which prominent Birmingham family had a toposcope constructed in 1923 for the top of Beacon Hill in Lickey Hills?

    CALLER: The Osbournes.

    (BBC Radio WM)


    GENERAL STUDIES

    TERRY WOOGAN: Which Duke resides at Woburn Abbey?

    CONTESTANT: Hazzard. (Wogan's Perfect Recall, Channel 4)


    PRESENTER: According to legend, who shot an apple off the top of his son's head?

    CONTESTANT: Well, straightaway I'm thinking of Isaac Newton.

    (Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)

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